Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Because We Never Stop Being Moms -Book Club- Chapter Five

 5.3.14

How was your week? Mine has been a mixture of everything: wonderful moments (visiting our dear friends in Las Vegas for a long weekend) and busy moments (having to catch up with all my papers to grade). But each day I have seen that I have been given more grace than what I'd have ever expected. God is good.

We are now in chapter five (half way through our book!), a chapter that mainly deals with three issues: being productive, financial responsibility, and living in community.

In this chapter the authors stir us up to consider how are we to live in community in our homes with our adult children when they are staying home for a season and for the good reasons. Newheiser warns us that "we might be tempted to micromanage their day or fly off the handle..." I agree. And even through distance, even if our children are off in college, we may face this same temptation because we are only a "text away" from them.

The authors recognize that not all the children of parents reading this book are Christians, so they remind their readers that "through common grace even a non-Christian can learn how to work hard and live productively in a community." However, he also reminds us that we should never "lower our household standards to a level that would displease the Lord."

If we could summarize the suggestions the author gives us in the next part of the book we would have these main points:

1. Develop an open friendship with your children, so that they will be open to hearing our wise counsel when they ask for it (p.71). Maybe you can review your notes on chapter one as this was an important principle Newheiser laid clearly at the beginning of the book.

2. Parents must set expectations and make them known (p.72). And I particularly love that the author reminds us that "laying out these expectations is both wise and loving."

3. Expect them to be productive (p.72). Being lazy is a form of stealing, and not making the best use of our time is a sin. This sentence, in my opinion, summarizes the principle in a clear way: 

"Rather that seeing a schedule as enslaving or as thwarting their creativity, our kids need to embrace it as the good means God has given, so that they might know the joy of accomplishing much for him (Prov.21:25)."

4. Young adults living at home should do an adult share of the housework (p.74). We have seen -and heard- this many times: children demanding to be respected and treated as adults but at the same time don't want the full package of what it means being an adult. They want the privileges only but not the responsibilities.

"One twenty-one-year-old told us that he had learned that "nothing kills work ethic and discipline more effectively than the welfare state of parental indulgence."

5. Establish reasonable moral standards (p.75). The reason, the motivation for this should be that we want to honor the Lord in our home. (Remember Eli and the way he neglected honoring God in his household?)

"We want to help our young people understand the difference between our negotiable house rules and timeless, biblical standards."

6. Nothing is more important for living in community with others than trust (p.77).

7. Failure to meet expectations must result in consequences (p.78). I have found through many conversations with friends that trying to avoid the consequences we, parents, find ourselves tempted to overlook the lack of meeting of the expectations we have established beforehand. We are may times so much like Eli. We forget that God cannot be mocked, sooner or later the consequences of all our sins will come.

6. Follow through (p.80).
"Discipline is hard work and often unpleasant. "All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet those who have been trained by it afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness" /Heb.12:11). But we continue to discipline our children in the hope that God will work in their hearts to make them wise."

7. Get good, godly counsel from your pastor or trusted friend and cry out to God for the courage to do the best, most loving thing for your young adult (p.81).


I purposely left out the point in which the author says that, forcing or not an adult child living at home to go to church is a matter of personal conscience on the part of the parents. And I did so because I think that in this particular issue, the godly counsel of the pastor would always be necessary.

What about you? Thoughts?

May God give us grace to parent well each one of our children through all the different seasons of their lives.

God is faithful and good, and in Him we can fully trust,



 Photobucket

Post a Comment

I am so glad you are here today. Thanks for visiting this place and taking the time to leave a comment.

I read every comment; however, for the sake of time I don't always reply to each one of them. I am sure you understand.

Under His sun and by His grace,

Becky

Do you want to browse and ponder over older entries?

Click here to visit my former WordPress blog, On My Way to Heaven, there are 255 entries to read!

One day, hopefully, I will import it here!

You can subscribe to receive the almost-daily entries in your favorite reader, or you can become a sojourner; join me on this journey at the right bottom of the page, where it says "sojourners". I would love to "see" your face there.



Thank you for visiting!


I am a contributor here...

Who is Becky?

My Photo
Becky
If I am happy it is because of God! God, in His sovereign grace, has called me out of darkness into His Admirable light. He has opened my eyes and has shown me the way to Eternal Life. He has set my feet on a journey, and now I am walking Daily on My Way to Heaven. I did not find Jesus, He found me. I did not seek Him, yet He called me. I did not love Him, yet He loved me. I deserved death and He gave me Life. This is the place where I keep a journal of my life under His sun and by His grace!
View my complete profile

Borrowed Words

"It becomes us to spend this life only as a journey toward heaven... to which we should subordinate all other concerns of life. Why should we labor for or set our hearts on anything else, but that which is our proper end and true happiness?"

Jonathan Edwards

"I am still pondering God's greatness in His creation. I have so many questions that I would like to ask the Lord about the universe, creation, the fall of man... But when I'm in heaven, I wonder if I will even remember them. At that time, being in the presence of God will be enough. I'm thankful that I can look forward to that day."

-Persis

“Heaven is not here, it’s There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for.”

- Elisabeth Elliot, Keep a Quiet Heart



May I kindly ask, if you wish to use any image or text from this space to email me to get written permission? These are our family pics. Our journal in pixels and few words.
Thank you.

-All photos and words on this website are protected by copyright. Do not download for use in anyway without consent. -

My email is

dailyonmywaytoheaven {at} yahoo {dot} com

Recent Posts

Copyright

All rights reserved©Becky Pliego 2009- 2010. All images and texts are property of the author unless otherwise mentioned.

Back to TOP